Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
