I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
