but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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