am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
