We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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