16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
