I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
