I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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