Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
