What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
