my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize