if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
