I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Randomize
