The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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