so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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