How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize