last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she looked like the before picture.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
