My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
wow bdsm is so cute
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