There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
