How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
