I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize