It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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