i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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