Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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