I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
