Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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