Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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