Swine flu. Run for my life!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The uberlube is also flammable
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
