I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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