If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
