A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Randomize
