turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize