TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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