Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
