All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
