Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just found a bag of teeth...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
