I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
