my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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