I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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