His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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