morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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