DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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