All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
