If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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