I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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