Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
