you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
