that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
