The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
