he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Randomize
