no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
