You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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