she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
