If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
