I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
sex in a hospital.. check
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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