I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
