Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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