I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Drake has all the answers
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
