I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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