im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
