After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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